Suzie
The Boss
Registered: 04-2003
Location: Emu Heights :o)
Posts: 6420
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Sweet little old ladies.....
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing
nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get
horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives
you to the beach?"
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An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold
onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are
exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and
replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday"
-----------------
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this 'Sex and Marriage' book and all they talk about is 'mutual orgasm'. 'Mutual orgasm' here and 'mutual orgasm' there -- that's all they talk about. Tell me, Mabel, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual orgasm?"
Mabel thought for a long while. Finally, she shook her head
ad said, "No, I think we had State Farm."
-----------------
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their
retirement home reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and
demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be
much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."
---
. . .. .. ... ... all you need is love ... ... .. .. . .
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19/Apr/03, 14:33
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Rimmer
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Registered: 04-2003
Location: Straylia
Posts: 2577
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Re: Sweet little old ladies.....
A little old lady in a nursing home stands and raises her fist in the Rec Center one day and says, "Whoever can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight."
A little old man in the back of the room yells, "An elephant."
"Close enough," she says.
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26/Apr/03, 10:46
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